Why waste good money on Premiums?

Psst. We’ve got a great lobang for you. Yeah you, if you have been deciding for ages to get any insurance – or not.

Of course we empathize with what you are thinking. It can wait right? Why not push it back 3 months, 6 months, even a few years? It should save me a bunch of money in premiums. After all, I eat healthy, sleep early, and actively avoid hard substance abuse. I laugh extra loud at my boss’s jokes for good measure.

We know that situation, buddy, we know. Buying Insurance early is kind of like burning money. It is possible that you pay it out for years and years and years without getting any sort of reward from it. Ever.

Such a horrid waste. Imagine what you could do with that extra cash! Off the top of my head: go for a holiday – buy nice clothes – upgrade your phone – spend it on spa treats – use it for investments – eat at Michelin-starred restaurants – really, this list is endless.

This guy knows how to spend his money – far better than anyone else

Leave it up to us at Clearly Surely to discover the absolute best time to buy Insurance – so that you don’t waste a single dollar. It will totally revolutionize the industry as we know it.

Shut the door and make sure you are absolutely alone. Look behind you again just in case. Let’s keep this a secret between us.

Ready?

Buy Insurance only when you will claim from it

Wish you thought of it first, eh?

Brilliant. I know, right?

So simple and yet effective.

To recap, here is what we are sure of:

– Insurance is a necessary expenditure
– But we really only benefit from it “one fine day”
– Hence it makes no sense to pay for the times we don’t benefit from it
– Ergo, we should only buy it when the claim is certain

Haha! No wonder clairvoyants and prophets never need any insurance. If you happen to belong to that category, congratulations. You can stop reading from this point on.

But if you are like me, and your spider senses are on strike at the moment, then what is an ordinary Joe going to do?

Guide to orchestrating your own demise

Quite simply, we take matters into our own hands. Think: Bang for buck. Bang for buck. I ain’t gonna let no evil insurance company profit from years and years of premiums.

Step 1:

Go up to your long suffering financial planner (lets call her Linda) and say, sorry for making you wait for the past 36 years. I have finally thought it through, and am ready to take up your full proposal.

Flash that mega watt smile at her as you hand the cheque over. The importance of cheerfulness cannot be overstated. After all, you will soon be getting your money’s worth.

Megawatt smiles don’t come any better than this

Step 2:

Here comes the fun part. Barely after the ink has dried on your signed documents, you can contemplate your demise of choice. Your final selection depends on your personality, innate talent, and personal preference.

We have a list of suggestions to choose from:

Go bungee jumping – with a faulty cord
Why not get in one last thrill before you, err, hit a new low?

Moonwalk repeatedly. Across a busy road. While being blindfolded.
Channel your inner MJ. Channel it hard. Wearing a fedora while doing it gives you extra street cred. ~~~Annie are you ok, are you ok, are you ok Annie~~~

Use your wrists as a cutting board
The red doesn’t show as much if you cut something like beetroot. #truestory

Try ocean diving. With a large lump of lead shackled to your ankle.
Much recommended for the adventurous soul. We mapped out most of Earth but over 97% of our oceans are still undiscovered. Do your bit for science!

Play Russian roulette – With 6 bullets loaded
Enough said.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Sit back in heaven, and profit.

None of those methods sound particularly attractive to me leh!

Wow you are a picky one. Haiyah, we give you one last option. Guaranteed to work, at least for guys.

Just “forget” your wedding anniversary.

See you in the hereafter, bro.

So really, when is the best time to buy Life Insurance?

Sit up and listen good

Time to drop the satire and be dead (no pun intended!) serious. You got the message about 2 paragraphs ago, right?

If we could predict what happens next, we wouldn’t need to plan for the unexpected.

So unless you are Nostradamus incarnate, the best time to buy life insurance is really, now.

Now. When you are whole and healthy. When you still can.

We are not going to bring up the whole gory description about sudden heart attacks, violet accidents, or simply forgetting to wake up – decades before your time. All these are rare, but they do happen. That is why they are categorized as being the unexpected.

Happily though, majority of us (I hope) live long, full, and healthy lives till we breathe our last. Isn’t that worth protecting?

There is a famous line much bandied about, which makes plenty of good sense in our context:

Better to be 5 years too early, than 5 minutes too late.

Now you know why.

www.ClearlySurely.com aims to eradicate the knowledge gap between consumers and Life Insurance. Our Vision is that one day, every Man, Woman, and Child will be properly insured.

PS. For those that cannot recognize the satirical parts of the article even if it bit them on the ankle, suicide is not paid out if conducted within the first year of policy inception. You can read more about it here:

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