5 Types of Insurance Singaporeans can only fantasize about

Posted 10 March, 2016 by Clearly
in Just for Fun

Its safe to say, us Singaporeans have a lot going for us. Solid GDP growth year after year, on an island free of natural disaster, and access to a 24 hr Kopi Tiam everywhere. Yet we are always hankering after more, and the wish list seems never ending. Things never seem to be good enough, and there is always something for Singaporeans to dream of having.

After finishing our Chicken rice lunch and washing it down with some Teh-C, we sat down to do some heavy thinking. Pondering about this in the context of insurance, we came up with an unbeatable list of 5 types of Insurance that Singaporeans can only fantasize about. Just in time for dinner too. (Bak Kut Teh, if you are wondering)

 

Haze Insurance

 

Confirmed: Haze period produces more surgeons on the streets than any other

Confirmed: Haze period produces more surgeons on the streets than any other

 

With the forest fires in Sumatra being a yearly and lengthy process, most of us are subjected to months of dusty air, restricted outdoor activity and forced to act like surgeons in our N95 masks.

Wouldn’t it be great to have haze available for purchase?

It would cover all haze related purchases: the 4th air purifier in the house, 24 hour air conditioning, and perhaps even a paid holiday to fly somewhere we don’t have to breathe in a dust brick every 2 days.

If anyone is keen, we could draft an open letter to all the enterprising insurers out there

 

O Levels Insurance

 

A1 is bliss, A1 is life!

A1 is bliss, A1 is life!

 

The hallmark of Singaporean Education is a stressed out teenager, and equally stressed out parents. On this sunny island, exam results mean life or death – and it is evident with the number of tuition centres present. Do we even have that many students to go around?

If it were available, O Levels Insurance will be a mega hit among our results worshiping nation: Buy the Insurance, and it guarantees you a minimum result for your O levels. Pretty neat.

Prices would be tagged to the past performance of the student, and will increase along with the desired guaranteed grade. There will be no restrictions to the number of subjects to be purchased, and there will be a buy-4-get-1-free deal.

We can only dream, right?

 

MRT Insurance

 

Sun, Sand, and Sky: All available when you walk along an MRT track

Sun, Sand, and Sky: All available when you walk along an MRT track

 

Our MRT system is a technological marvel. Back in 1985, that is. Now, it is a marvel that we are still using transportation technology more than 30 years old. Even my old primary school has been demolished and rebuilt (twice) during that period. And I’m sure my school has less moving parts than a train.

Aging sleepers, electrical faults, signalling equipment failures – we’ve all had to endure the agony of late trains, uncertainty in travel times, and for a select bunch: The walk of a life time (we heard it can get pretty hot out there on the tracks).

Wouldn’t it be cool if SMRT could provide MRT Insurance, which guarantees against breakdowns and delays? If breakdowns occur, this insurance would also compensate us by the hour (More compensation of course to those that have to walk the MRT tracks, and a complimentary foot massage).

Now I find myself smiling foolishly at the control station aunty. SMRT, you heard us.

 

ERP Insurance

 

Maybe if I zoom past it fast enough, the fee won't be deducted

Maybe if I zoom past it fast enough, the fee won’t be deducted

 

The 2 certainties are death and taxes, but Singaporeans face an additonal third certainty: ERP hikes. Not being petty, but i’m pretty sure that ever since its inception, ERP hikes have been coming year after year.

In an ideal world, we should be able to purchase ERP insurance, which guarantees us against ERP hikes for a set period of time. Not only that, it also guarantees against the raising of more gantries – it seems like I have to pass through 4 gantries just to get to my mamak shop.

Bonus feature: It pays for all our ERP related fines each time we run through an active gantry with ahem, insufficient funds!

 

Boss Insurance

 

Looks like something got stuck up his rear

Looks like something got stuck up his rear

 

Raise your hand if you have ever had a boss from hell. He or she is unreasonable, stingy, and more insecure than a 16 year old girl about her looks. Micromanagement is a way of life, and you are somehow expected to be creative, efficient, productive, and hardworking even after years of non existent increments.

Raise your hand if you are still working under a boss from hell.

Right. I notice no discernable decrease of hands.

This means that boss insurance should be pretty popular around these parts, and its sole purpose is to restore the ill effects of working under a horrid boss. Payouts would include, but not be limited to: deluxe spa packages for stress reduction, access to top notch psychiatry specialists, and one free engagement of a hitman (as a last resort, of course).

That should keep those pesky bosses on their toes.

 

Alas, our sweet day dream must come to an end. What a sobering walk back to reality we have to take. Still, it was a great exercise in imagination.

Do you have any insurance that you dream about instead? Do let us know in the comments below!

 

www.ClearlySurely.com aims to eradicate the knowledge gap between consumers and Life Insurance. Our Vision is that one day, every Man, Woman, and Child will be properly insured.

 

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