The Bare-Butt Millionaire

Posted 10 December, 2017 by Surely
in Educate Yourself

“This is practically my second home. I know everyone that is worth knowing here. Except You. Can I get you a drink?”

Using the pickup line that works like a charm, you chat up another skirt that has wandered into your den – a pretty face that you hope to bring back to your apartment at the end of the night. At $20 per glass, the alcohol here does not come cheap. Unlucky for you, there are an abundant of men just like you in the club who will stop at nothing to impress young, well-defined ladies at the club.

You drive home empty-handed in your well-maintained second-hand BMW coupe. You struggle to keep your vehicle straight as your brain is clouded in a Vodka mist. The valet service is just too expensive for you to afford. Instead, you choose to run the risk of hitting someone else or worse being caught by the Police. Who cares about a few broken limbs or a lost life? That is none of your business. Having your license suspended will be terribly inconvenient. You can’t really expect to pick up chicks in an Uber, can you?

You are almost living your ultimate dream – an almost perfect 5Cs. Living pay-cheque to pay-cheque, you have a wallet brimming with cold hard Cash to impress anyone who cares to look. The Car and a Mickey-mouse Condo are all leveraged on high-interest loans. Credit cards are a non-issue. Instead of a boring old country club, you go clubbing every single weekend.


bare-butt millionaire

Partying is the most important thing in life. #YOLO


No one needs to know that you have no savings at all. You pay the absolute minimum on your credit bill so that you have just enough to pay for your housing and vehicle loan. You scrimp and save on your daily expenses, relying on a diet of instant noodles and cheap contraband cigarettes. After all, there is only so much you can stretch a $3,500 pay cheque.

It does not ever come to your mind about having an emergency fund just in case you are laid off from work. Your entire life savings are not sufficient to cover even the deductible on your basic Medishield Life plan, let alone the co-insurance. It doesn’t matter even if you pass away. After all, you have not been giving any allowance to your parents anyway. Retirement is about 30 to 40 years in the future so who cares!

All it matters is that when people look at you, they only see the glamorous front – the one that is living up the millionaire dream. Who cares if your butt is bare and open to all sorts of risks? No one will notice it anyway as long as you keep running fast and hard.

So enjoy your bare-butt millionaire moment.
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